Holy crap.. I still own this thing dont i?!?! I dont think i've logged in2 it 4ever (with VERY good reason not to..).. 2nd yr uni.. makes u grow up n 4get things.. hmm no one even checks this thing any more.. its all about facebook n orkut.. so i guess its safe to blabber I dunno.. I'm in India..  on my own choice.. I guess not ever getting to know ur home land kinda eats at a person.. most normal people dont give in2 the impulse.. and well.. thats them.. but im kinda wierd so i packed my things n came here.. I love it here!!.. Don't miss home much at all.. parents were always on business trips.. so it was me n a big empty house in vancouver.. ALTHOUGH i get sushi, McDix,slurpy,starburst,oatmeal cookies,starbucks,clean air, cravings once in a while.. the shopping is amazing.. got everything from The Body Shop to Abercrombie here.. so i aint gonna complain too much I was goin out with a guy for the past 11months.. people who know me know thats a EFFN BIG deal.. I usually dont really pay too much attention to guys.. so one who kinda got me goin in a whirl for 11months hasta be given SOME credit!! hehe.. everything was awesome.. till my head n my heart started goin at war again.. gawd ladies.. why the hell do our minds kick in at such WRONG times, n we start thinking bout the past.. its such shit!! Anyways.. so atleast twice a year i start missn Mr.x.. and we even started smsing eachother towards the end of last yr.. which made me trip up HARSH wid my bf.. godammit i cant forget him.. haha it sounds ridiculous cuz he n i will NEVER work out.. I dnt even think i'll ever see him again.. but i start missing him like hell.. and i go ruin a good thing with a guy who loves me more than life itself... and you can't blame Mr.X for anything.. cuz at the end of the day the problem lies within.. so wut to do but keep on smilin that smile and hiding the thoughts somewhere waaaaaaaaaaaay at the back of your mind.. ne ways.. if anyone by chance reads this... its just me rambling..

*~*~!!Happy 2006!!~*~*

Its ALMOST a yr since i'v run back to india... and i'v HONESTLY enjoyed EVERY DAMN millisecond of it!!.. I was supposed to visit back home this past Dec. but now im just confused.. WHERE IS HOME??... is it where my parents r? or is home here with the rest of the family, childhood friends.. n.. Pablo.. Yes my boyfriend's name is Pablo.. Our families knew eachother forever.. but he had his own thing goin on.. n well i was pretty much NEVER in the country.. and i met babez back in march.. for like 2 mins cuz we were at one of those aunty/uncle office parties, where the kids just stand arnd next t their parents n smile like litto angels.. tee hee.. n after that we never talked once... but fate the screwy biyach that she is.. threw us 2gether at my newphew n nieces rice ceremony.. haha it also kinda helped that i'm just not the childish spoilt bored brat that i used to be.. and yes, i can COMFERTABLY say USED 2B.. cuz i dunno.. i'v just changed.. sumtyms it freaks me out.. but i like it :D so ne ways.. he looked lost n confused, and as if he'd NEVER picked up a kid b4.. so i tht id help the brotha out.. haha little did i knw that would conclude in all the unties going "AAWWW..they look like a REAL family!".. *barf*... n him askn 4 my#.. n us goin out 4 din on the same nyt.. haha The last tym i felt so dangerously close to a person was.. well whoever he was.. he's in the past.. and *BANG* it HITS ME.. i'v actually GOTTEN OVER alotta SHIT n that i was FINALLY (4yrs too late.. but late is better than never!).. ready to move the F on!!.. *sigh*.. its like when u REALLY need to go pee at a fair or sumthn.. n u cant cuz ur options are just NOT hygenic enuff.. n when u reach home at an african cheetah pace n finally releive urself... just picture urself being stuck at the fair for like 4 f'n yrs... *shidders*!!!

Ne ways.. new yrs was ROCKN!!.. we started off at the Calcutta Cricket n Football Club.. Then ditched the rents.. n the kids all went to 'Incognito' at the Taj... HOLY HELL i have NEVER EVER experienced SUCH degrees of Sloshness mixed up wid energy that my body was pulling outt gawd knws where!! 2 dance from 12 to like 6 am!!! Oh mah GAAAAAAAAD!!! Every DAYUM song was ORGASMIC!!... next we finally got ourselves 2gthr.. went to the Coffee Room (still at Taj).. met up wid da rents n had brkfst... mmmMMmMMmm... club sandwich.. SO could NOT finish it.. but my daddy devoured it along with the Shrimp scampi New Orleans style that he ordered... crazy mawfaw!! oh yes.. my daddy's here for like 20 days... actually we're having a memorial service for my grandma n we coulda done it right after she died.. but him being the FAVE son, wasnt present at that tym... its in like 2days.. i hafta write sumthn for it... i unno what to write.. should i be senty.. NO cuz thats just TOO dayum predictable.. should i be honest??.. u c when it comes to my feelings abt this certain grandma i dnt think honesty's the best policy.. altho it would be witty.. i'd prolly look like a jack ass in a sari up on stage infrnt of all her family n friends.. (politicians, musicians, artists, some actors etc)... gawd.. im so screwed...

On to greener pastures... hahahaha speakn of grass... is it bad for like a sinusitis patient to smoke up??.. since iv joined uni.. every sat wid bro n frnds have been vdka, grss, n floyd... trippy..

ne ways i gotta go think of sumthn to write abt my granny deary.. maybe weed mite help.. on 2nd tht the family hitler deserves better than that... xoxo yallz

Currently Listening Don't Forget About Us By Mariah Carey see related

My BABIES are HERRRRREE!!! Woot WOOT!!!.. my nephew n niece from London are finally in Kolkata.. oh. MAH. GAAAWWD. I HEART them SOooOOoOoo effn much.. haha Jiya the chica n Jiyon.. my handsome litto prince haha aaww im ubber happy my sis had twins.. NOW i dont hafta have babies.. i can just mother them when she's fagged out.. good lord i 4got how hyper babies r.. Jiyon doesnt need THAT much attention.. he's like this happy go lucky litto egg.. haha u feed him n he's cool witchu.. Jiya.. holy mother.. now im so greatful for my family.. she's WORSE than ME when i was a kid.. she needs ur full attention every waking SECOND.. MOMMY!! waahahaha..n if she doesnt get it she'll MAKE SURE u understand that that she feels neglected.. the thing has lungs of a swimmer... haha speaking of swimming we put em in the tub the other day.. haha they were bobbing like apples.. *bob bob bob*.. haha 7months n they're already trying to walk.. haha im trying to teach em to say "Mashi".. but they look at me like i have something stuck to my face.. haha. they call me mumum instead.. waahahaha *sigh totally in state of  'Fida-ness'*... best part is im their fashion consultant.. oh hell YES they're stylish litto babies!!.. osh kosh n baby gap ALL THE WAY!!.. n i put em to sleep with my singing.. which only THEY appreciate.. (other people just run away).. haha wow *takes pause to breathe*.. can u tell i've become the obsessive compulsive possesive aunt?!?!.. eeek! I dunno... but these two litto things have changed me.. im not as cold n sarcastic ne more.. n they've changed my baby-having-phobia... haha good lord not ANY time soon.. but yeah in the future.. like WAAAY down in the future when i become a hot fashion designer.. (oh yes donatella.. watch yo BACK!..) n i find my perfect hubby.. maybe then i wont say no to the whole mothering thing.. hehehe...

hmm wut else.. wut else... lost more weight.. gave my internal exams.. gawd knws how i did... Our departmental excursion to Rajasthan has been postponed to January cuz of my cuzn n myself.. haha no joke.. n i dont wanna sound full of myself either.. but yeah, my cuzn n i r friends with pretty much everyone in our english dept. n we REALLY wanted to go on the excursion, but if they did it in dec. we'd have been screwed over big tym cuz we have 3 family weddings, and the 25th is Jiya n Jiyon's rice ceremony.. yeah bengali's have this rice ceremony thingy where babies have a taste of their first solid foods.. which in REALITY doesnt work out ne more.. cuz babies have cerelac after like 5 months ne ways... hmm.. I'm still single.. haha which if you know me well know that i AINT complaining.. haha.. i still dont understand how some people can stick to ONE person from such an early age.. eek.. yes im still afraid of the whole commitment thing.. plus i pretty much.. (this is gonna sound equally cliche).. DONT have time for a relationship.. its like uni, Jiya/Jiyon, family, work, sleep.. occasional party or booze session wid bro n friends... waaahaha.. which im REALLY missing.. bhai's working now too.. he's gonna be a CA so he's working for his friend's dad's firm.. (i think i massacred alotta grammar rules there) .. i miss us being kids...

neways im outty.. my crazy aunt timing begins in a couple of minutes... haha keep it sexy yallz!! XoXo *muaz*

Currently Listening My Humps By Black Eyed Peas see related

Hey.. had a crazy ass shopping day.. i swear i made Cher from Clueless look like an amateur.. churidar jeans are in?.. holy mother.. its like the 70's are back.. mahaha raiding mother's closet!!.. Gawd it finally stopped raining.. one more day of rain and i swear would trade in my Scorpio for a raft.. im not joking.. some of the streets look like canals.. people cant get to work.. poor peoples huts have been washed away.. its actually quite scary..

ne ways.. bhai is ready.. i should go get dressed.. its Nikhil's bday 2day.. i think we're gonna hit up Tantra.. mahaha.. strobe lights babaaay!!

AAGGHH!! xanga changed.. ooohh  !! hmm so iv been so outta the loop lately.. haha busy busy life.. its crazy festival season again in India.. woot woot!! Came back to Kolkata from Uni n its been a non stop party.. gawd soo many pictures.. but me so lazy.. tee hee.. Durga puja was like 4 crazy days of unsoberness.. ("Boyfriend ko choro.. Tequila piyo!!").. now im chilln at my uncle's place while my grandma's off to south india with her friends.. they're prolly stuck on some boat right now.. its all rainy n flooded down there.. haha aaww nanai..

gawd im so glad to have a month off.. quality chill tym wid bhai.. but then agn during the day i have alotta thinkin tym.. n those who know me know how much i hate silence.. just makes me think about things that still haunt me.. n ud think that distance n tym would make you forget.. most of all i miss someone that im realizing now that i cant live without.. I miss him more than my parents.. just stupid day to day things remind me of him.. i miss the 6 hr long phone calls.. the small presents that didnt make sense to other people.. the fact that we had no label.. the way people used to say our names together.. his stupid sappy songs that pissed the hell out of me when he'd bleat them at the top of his lungs.. the way he actually listened to my suggestions n opinions.. the way he'd put anything n anyone aside for me.. i miss shopping with/for him.. i miss being the voice in his head.. i miss the way i could predict his next stupidity, but let him make mistakes any way.. (too bad he never learns from em.. moron!) i miss the fact that he was the only one who could knock sense into me.. n most of all my trust n loyalty towards him never faltered even thru the bad tyms.. i just miss my best friend.. n the sad part is there are so many people who said they'll always be arnd.. but i actually believed him..

Currently Listening I Don't Care By Ricky Martin see related